FERTILITY : My Journey of Loss and Healing

Oct 16, 2024 

It’s been eight years since we lost Baby One. She was around 10 weeks old when I miscarried. I vividly recall those final two weeks, seeking “second opinions” from three different gynecologists, hoping against hope to hear her heartbeat. Deep down, I knew something was wrong, but my maternal instincts clung to hope.

I lost her during a hot hatha yoga class. I’d already felt discomfort before entering the room, and just 15 minutes into the session, a sharp cramp gripped my belly, as if my uterus was about to burst. Then, suddenly, there was a rush, and I felt something leave my body. I knew Baby One was gone.

After class, I rushed to the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, I saw the translucent sac that held my baby. My heart shattered. Tears streamed down my face as I said my final goodbye and flushed her away.

It was a profound loss, filled with guilt and self-blame. I questioned whether I had been careful enough. After many attempts, we finally succeeded in having my daughter through IVF, a precious gift after the heartbreak.

My daughter, now 4 years old, is my treasure. Losing my first baby has made me even more grateful for the gift of motherhood. I remind myself daily to be patient, knowing how precious this life is that I’ve been blessed with.

In every pregnancy, 1 in 4 babies is lost to miscarriage or stillbirth. If you’re holding a child in your arms, know how incredibly fortunate you are. If you’re still trying to conceive, stay hopeful; motherhood may be just around the corner. And to those who, like me, have lost a baby, my heart is with you and your little ones. Know that they are in a better place, watching over you, and I hope you meet your next baby soon.

#yogaforfertilitysupport #yogaforpregnancyandbirth

#yogaforlossandgrief #fertility #prenatal #postpartum